I have come to realise school holidays are hell in the Domestic Goddess stakes. There is absolutely no Domestic Goddessism going on at all.
In fact, it’s more Domestic Feralism.
Oh. my. goshness. the. mess.
The dirt.
The… I don’t even know what some of the things are I am finding stuck to the floor, the walls, and cupboard doors!
All I know is Sara Lee icecream – Caramel Peanut Brittle YUM! – makes it all seem like I will make it through one more week before school goes back.
It seems when Domestic Feralism is at it’s worst is when people need to visit, especially in school holidays.
Why? WHY!
Fucking Murphy.
It’s when the support workers taking the girls to a visitation need to use the loo when they pick the girls up! Because they get lost and we live in the middle of nowhere, where there are no public toilets. Where brown snakes scare them into staying in their car and nudging the front gate instead of getting out to open it!
Yes, the feralist of days are always the days people show up - frickin Murphy and his laws.
The loo is in the laundry, which was in a fine state this morning when it needed to be used by a stranger… actually two strangers. Both ladies needed the loo! BOTH!
Oh the shame!
To give you an idea of what was in the laundry this morning, he’s a visual of the amount of washing I have done today – there is still a huge basket in the laundry to be hung out in the morning, and about 3 loads of linen to go.
I warned the support worker ladies before they even stepped foot inside… Just don’t look around, focus on what you’re entering the house for. And for the love of my lack of Domestic Goddessism during school holidays, ignore the state of the laundry!
OH THE SHAME!
The floor throughout the house was scary, really freakin scary - I say “was” because it’s not anymore, Gravel gave it a vacuum for me – Loom bands have infested the house to it’s very core. The infestation is kind of like how cockroaches live in all the places in the city. They are in all of the nooks, and all of the crannies!
I have no bloody idea what I was thinking when I bought them for the kids! Clearly I was out of my fucking mind!
Yes, school holidays have left me eating icecream a lot.
“Sanity in a bucket” I call it.
I figure at least it’s not alcohol, and I’m not pissing up every night just to cope with my lack of Domestic abilities with all the kids home!
So tomorrow, again, I will walk out to the kitchen – which is the centre of my house – look around at the aftermath of so many OgreKids, and ask myself… “Where the frick do I start?”
At least I know I’ll have icecream at the end of it.
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